Captain's BlogCaptain's Bloghttp://cristelaalonzo.com/blog/2012-05-29T20:29:32ZSquarespaceI WISH THIS WAS A REAL MOVIE. I'D WATCH IT.http://cristelaalonzo.com/blog/2012/5/29/i-wish-this-was-a-real-movie-id-watch-it.htmlCristela2012-05-29T20:26:49Z2012-05-29T20:26:49Z

]]>What Facebook has become...Part 2http://cristelaalonzo.com/blog/2012/5/24/what-facebook-has-becomepart-2.htmlCristela2012-05-25T02:40:48Z2012-05-25T02:40:48Z

]]>ANNOUNCEMENT: MAKING MY CONAN DEBUThttp://cristelaalonzo.com/blog/2012/5/23/announcement-making-my-conan-debut.htmlCristela2012-05-23T23:52:27Z2012-05-23T23:52:27Z

I don't normally like to say things good things about myself because I don't want to give you the illusion that I'm building up a self-esteem but I figured this was a time where I had to say something:

I was told yesterday that I'll be making my late night TV debut in August on Conan.

The show is on reruns for part of the summer and they're going to Chicago for a full week which is why I'm not doing it till August. It's actually quite perfect for me because I'm working in Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Sacramento, Indianapolis and San Francisco this summer so it works perfectly with my schedule. I have half of August off before I head out to perform for over a 100 colleges in the fall so I hope I can get a date that sits perfectly in my off time.

I am VERY happy about this. 

So many things have been going great this year. I got new management and agency that I'm excited about. I booked enough college gigs to be the Most Requested Act at NACA Nationals which also helps me stop wondering how I'm going to pay rent for while and now I'm doing Conan on TBS.  

It's times like these that make me think, "How did I end up here?" As a daughter of a Mexican mother that only had a second grade education and never learned English, I can't believe I'm getting to do this. Part of me feels like it's a fluke but a bigger part of me feels so happy that I'll be able to represent the Rio Grande Valley on a late night show. 

Things are looking up...and I just can't believe it. 

P.S. I'll let you guys know when I have a date. Regulators, mount up!

 

]]>STOP WITH OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATEhttp://cristelaalonzo.com/blog/2012/5/19/stop-with-obamas-birth-certificate.htmlCristela2012-05-19T07:53:44Z2012-05-19T07:53:44Z

Am I the only one that thinks people are a little too crazy about Obama's birth certificate? It's been years now and people are still demanding to see Obama's birth certificate? People treat Obama's birth certificate like a pair of sorority girl's boobs: they want to make sure they're real.

How can people think that Obama wasn't born in the United States?

Think about it.

There are three requirements you need to become President:

  1. You need to native-born US citizen.
  2. You need to be at least 35 years old.
  3. You must have lived in the country for at least for fourteen years.

That's it. Only those three little things. You don't have to pull a sword out of a stone or go on any kind of pilgrimage.

If Obama wasn't born in the United States...then ALL of us are stupid for not having checked that Obama met these three requirements BEFORE he was even allowed to run. 

Have you ever tried signing a kid up for Little League? You've got to show a birth certificate to prove the kid's age before they let you sign him up. You need to show a birth certificate to play baseball.

A BIRTH CERTIFICATE FOR LITTLE LEAGUE!

When people claim that Obama isn't American, what they're REALLY trying to say is that the Little League has their act together more than the government.

So, can we drop this whole "Obama isn't American" thing? Yes? Cool.

Play ball.

(Photo Courtesy of Yahoo.com)

]]>WHAT FACEBOOK HAS BECOME...http://cristelaalonzo.com/blog/2012/5/16/what-facebook-has-become.htmlCristela2012-05-16T05:23:36Z2012-05-16T05:23:36Z

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