2012 SO FAR...

My Fozzie Hat and I say, "Hello!" It's February. Almost Valentine's Day. Not that it matters, I don't celebrate the day.  I won't go into some long explanation to why I don't celebrate. Let's just say, I hate overpaying for stuff that I can get any day.

Having said that, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wanted to wait and give you guys time to settle into 2012 before I wished you a good one. Worked right?

I haven't written a blog about my life in a while. I guess I was giving myself time to really figure out where I am with myself. I think a lot of people, including myself in the past, try to write a blog at the top of the year to make the grand proclamations that they'll never achieve.

I didn't make specific New Year's Resolutions except for one...to say yes more. I tend to immediately disregard things right away; I don't give into things and I think that as a result, I end up missing out on a lot. Since starting this conscious effort to say "yes" more, I've noticed I've been a lot happier with myself. That was a nice surprise.

So you may be wondering what I have in store for myself this year. The answer is, I don't have a clue. I have vague ideas of what I want but if I get them or not, that's a different story. I'll tell you one thing though, I think I've stopped caring as much as I used to. I know that sounds like a bad thing. I don't mean it to be but frankly, it hurts too much when I care.

Stand up is such a difficult thing. Anyone that tells you it's easy isn't doing it right.  It comes with a lot of pain, disappointment, feelings of inadequacy, the whole package. The past number of years, I've made a list of things I've wanted to get and every year I don't get any of them. They're goals. Goals I have yet to achieve.

A spiritual person would say that things come when they're supposed to, if they ever do. I guess I realize that and my brain might know it but my heart doesn't. 

As I write this, I know that the only thing I know for sure that I must do in 2012 is come up with a new set. I find myself getting bored with my jokes and that my friends, is a bad place to be. I'm a different person. I have different things I want to talk about; I don't know exactly what but I'm pretty sure they're different from what I'm doing right now.

I'm sorry if this blog sounds like a "woe is me" letter, it really isn't. I'm actually quite hopeful (at least for me). I recently started working with two managers. Yes, I have two managers. A couple people thought it was a weird choice for me to do that but in this business, there are no rules. Anything is fair game and I decided that I need two managers. They're both great. One of them I've known for only a couple of weeks but as far as I can tell, I love him. He's fantastic. I get him and I think he gets me. We'll be working on my acting/writing stuff. As a stand-up comic, having a manager like him is a little rare; most comics I know work with management that specializes solely in stand-up comics. I'm different though. I started out in theatre; I have a theatre background-why wouldn't I have someone like him on my side, right? It made perfect sense to me. Having said that, this manager doesn't specialize in stand-up, it's not really part of his world so that left me needing someone that could help me on the stand-up side. That's where the second manager comes in, someone that knows about comedy clubs, festivals, touring, etc. I've known this guy for years, he's a friend. I would trust him with my life. I'm a very loyal person with people that are nice to me and this one has been a supporter of me for years, which in turn makes me a very big supporter of his as well.

I'm slowly building a group of people to work with and help me where I want. That is amazing to me; it's something that I never thought was possible. It makes me happier than I've been for a while. Maybe it's from my very humble childhood but with every little step I make in the right direction, I have to stop and say thanks to the universe.

The moment this all started happening for me a couple of weeks ago, I started really getting into gear. It was almost mechanical in a way. The moment I signed with the management, my brain told my body that it was time to get serious. I started going to the gym the next day and doing Weight Watchers again. I lost five pounds in a week. I started changing up my wardrobe a bit. Little things here and there. I can't explain it. Maybe my brain finally gave into the fact that I'm in my 30's now. Whatever. I won't judge it. 

So that's what I've been up to. Just really working on myself in every way possible. I hope 2012 is a good year for me. I'd love to record my first CD this year at some point. You guys think I should? I wouldn't even know where to record it.

I don't know what this year holds for me. All I know is that whatever comes my way, I'll just have to follow my New Year's Resolution....and say "yes" to it all. Whatever it may be.